Our Lovely Neighbors

Graham and Ann

We have made some special friends since we moved to Dalkey.  I think the catalyst for us meeting our next door neighbors was a ball kicked into their garden.  Thomas and Sam called on them to get the ball, and they assured us that in the future it would be perfectly fine for us to just go through their gate to their back garden to retrieve Sam’s balls.  Eventually I made it over to meet them and fell in love with this sweet couple straight away.  Grahame’s introduction, accent in tow, went a little something like this.

Grahame: Hi, Amy, I’m Graham.

Me: Grimm?  (I had not ever heard that name barring the fairy tale collection, but in Ireland many, many names are new to me!)

G: Grahame.

M:  Grimm?  Did you say Grimm?   Or Grahame?

G:  That’s right.  Grahame (still sounded like Grimm to me, so I still wasn’t sure).

M:  Nice to meet you, Gr - (grumble)

It took glancing over at a piece of mail the next time I was over to get his name for sure!  Haha!

They are about our parents’ age, and while they are definitely people I would call friends, there is a bit of a parental feeling that I have for them.  They have cared for us and reached out to us and watched out for us and our house, and even protected us.  I give two examples of this.  The doorbell rang one day and the man, in an almost incoherent voice, asked if I wanted garden work done.  When I told him we weren’t interested, he just knelt down in the flower bed and started working.  I went out there and watched and tried to figure out what to do, while he just kept pulling weeds.  I repeated that I didn’t not need him to work on that, and that he could leave now, but he just kept on digging.  I sort of felt sorry for him, but this was extremely awkward.  I decided to treat him as if he were Christ in my garden, but when I tried to reach out to him about himself, he just told me I was nosey.  So I stood there some more.  Hmmmm.....now what?  I went back inside to think and returned to ask him what he would charge.  After all, he was doing some work, and I wanted to show respect to him for the work he had done.  He told me €40.  All I had was a 50, and I was not going to pay extra.  I didn’t even want the guy there!  He was making me so uncomfortable.  I needed change, so I would go ask Grahame if he could break a 50.  He couldn’t, but I told him what was going on, and he came over to the house and totally bowed up to the guy.  HE could see why I was having so much trouble getting him to leave, but he got right in the guys face and told him he had to go.  Meanwhile, Grahame took my €50 and went across the road to the hotel (a bit of a walk) and got smaller bills for me (so I could stay home since the kids were there.)  We paid the guy, and that was that.  I felt so much better knowing Grahame was there.

Every time I have ever rung the bell, Grahame has welcomed me in.  (I usually end up calling on them in the evening, and Ann is an early bird and has headed upstairs already.)  We always chat for a little while and catch up.  It is nice to be known by your neighbors.  They look out for our house and notice if we seem to be gone or anything seems suspicious.  Ann and Grahame invited us over for lemonade (hard!) as a formal welcome one afternoon.  They had made little sandwiches and treats and had drinks for us and Lucy.  They are so good at being interested, in asking questions, in complimenting and affirming.  I found out Ann was a singer at one time and they got me to sing for them and Ann’s sister, who is a doll.  I noticed that Grahame and I have a shared interest in finding our family tree.  He had his impressive work displayed on a giant piece of paper on the wall with notes scratched ALL over it.  I told him I only hoped to have that much work done on mine some day!

Last summer a ball went in their garden, and I went over to get it, and found myself sitting at their back table sipping wine and chatting for an hour or more with them and Ann's sister, and felt so welcomed and enjoyed the gift of sitting on their patio in the sunshine on a beautiful July day (about then), surrounded by the labor of love that has blossomed into their cottage garden.

In August, Grahame and Ann came for a summer gathering we had to introduce Dad and Sue to the local people we had met. Grahame and Ann came. Ann parked herself at the table and kept all my lady friends entertained, and Grahame joined in on the ever stimulating conversation that presents whenever Dad is around.  Grahame felt a connection with Dad, and after they left, when Grahame found out Dad had been diagnosed with lung cancer, he was very concerned and compassionate and asked frequently how Dad was doing.....all the way until we got the good news.

In November, Thomas was out of the country, and we had a TERRIBLE wind storm.  So bad that it blew open our back door and bent the latch to where we could not close the door and keep it closed.  Meanwhile it broke a window latch in the study and blew it open, too, and it was freezing in the house.  It was pretty late at night, and I had no idea what to do, so I called on Grahame, who was dressed and ready for bed.  But he got some clothes on and came over and, with the wind blowing him around and his hair being blown every which way, and shivering in the cold while I watched and communicated through the glass, he tried various approaches to solving the door problem.  After a couple of trips back to his house, he ended up nailing a board across the bottom of the door to keep it shut.  Then he made sure the window would stay closed with some duct tape.  I felt SOOO grateful!

We were surprised and amazed when Grahame and Ann invited us over Christmas Day!  Despite our misunderstanding of the times and showing up late, they welcomed us in with open arms and scrambled around to make sure we were tended to properly, and sharedstories about their lives and learned more about ours.  It was nice to be remembered and included with our next door “family” since we were so far from ours. 

After Easter they invited us over for “What we call ‘late lunch’,” as Grahame put it.  Ann, as usual, looked like a proper lady, in her silk floral blouse and pearls.  They both are always so happy to see us and are ever so complimentary.  It is a good house to go to if I feel inadequate or unimportant in any way.  Also, as usual, they presented us with a menu of drinks, including special drinks for the children.  We enjoyed lovely conversation about our trip to Paris.  Lucy and Sam made me proud as they spoke eloquently about their thoughts and experiences, and Sam actually washed and combed his hair to the side to be appropriate for the occasion.  We enjoyed the sunshine coming through the windows of the “conservatory” while sipping our vodka and tonic, and lemonade, and cranberry juice, and ale.

An Irish kitchen never puts on airs.  It is full of the spoils of war that evidence the battle that is the pouring of oneself out through the food that one presents to destroy even an inkling of hunger pang that might survive in the guest’s body, fortifying it with warmth and nourishment to brave the gab set out ahead of them.  Ann presented us with big steaming bowls of carrot and coriander soup and crusty bread.  She even made tomato soup separately for Sam who had stated that as his preference in her pre-meal interview at our house the day before.  Next on the menu, stewy beef bourgeon with mushrooms and onions, carrots, and traditional colcannon made of potatoes (of course) and kale.  Again, she made a special effort to make Sam and Lucy hamburger and chips, assuming that they would not prefer what we were having.  How kind.

For dessert, homemade meringues with dark chocolate drizzle, fresh berries, and gelato ice cream from the gelato shop in Dalkey.  Ann got up at 7 am to make these for us.  We truly felt pampered and important.  There is a connection between us.  Conversation flows easily, and they are such good question-askers and find what we have to say interesting (or else they are humble and gracious enough to lead us to believe they are interested!)

After our lovely meal, we moved to the living room.  I am not sure how it started, but either I or the kids and I started to sing.  Of course there was the usual Ave Maria or the like, and then the next thing you know we were singing the Beatles.  Ann was once a famous traditional Irish singer with the Abbey Tavern singers.  After some health issues, she claims that she can’t sing anymore.  I felt so happy to see her lips move as she just couldn’t help but sing a long.  At one point she left the room, and as she entered again she was dancing around to our songs.  What surprised me was Grahame’s enthusiasm.  I don’t know what we were singing, but at one point, he stomped his foot and threw both hands in the air in exultation at the fun of it all.  I just adored the connection we had through song and how a band of their generation banded them together with our generation, and even our kids’!  It truly was a joyful moment.  One I will never forget.  And then, we convinced Ann to sing a few bars.  What a blessing to see it rise out of her.  Singing is such a balm for the soul, and I could see the love for the art that she once held bubbling, rising up again from deep in her spirit.  Grahame told her he really wishes she would sing again for herself, and she finally agreed that if she and I could do it together, she would try.  I have yet to make that happen, and sadly, it may be a little while, but I have every intention of inviting her to join me, and I hope she will teach me some Irish tunes!  I think we could really sound beautiful together.  Moments like these make me grateful for my voice.  I may not be touring the world as a big star, but the gift God has given me is used in subtle, simple ways to bless people.  To God be the glory!

I have only seen both Grahame and Ann in passing one time since.  I invited them over for a hooley (sing along, instruments, drinks, gab, and craic) I was having a couple of weeks ago (beginning of June) and Ann phoned the day of and said Grahame had not been feeling well.  She was concerned but suggested perhaps he had not fully recovered from the chest infection he had a few weeks prior.  This week, in the throes of cooking dinner, with a 10 minute lull before the oven timer was set to buzz, I felt a tug to ring Ann right then to see how things were going.  “Horrible,” she replied.  She shared with me that Grahame had been diagnosed with cancer the week prior, and the day before my phone call they had been told he only has days to weeks to live.  My heart absolutely sank.  I held back the tears while I gathered information and let Ann talk.  Being true to herself, she had to know what was going on with us, too.  This has hit us hard.  Yes, we have only known them for a year, but they have touched us.  We prayed before we moved for friends, but also specifically for good neighbors, and He has exceeded our expectation by giving us both good friends AND neighbors in Grahame and Ann.  Grahame has helped me so many times, and it has been a comfort to know that he is there.  And now I will pray intensely for them. 

He adores his sweet wife.  It was evident in the story he told me about buying Ann roses which didn’t last long enough.  He took them back.  When they asked if he wanted to exchange them, he said, “No.  You know how much I spent, and I will send my wife over to pick out the flowers that SHE wants.”   He said he loves to have the freshest flowers around for her.  He is a gentleman in every sense of the word, and has been truly a blessing from God.  I have two regrets.  One, in our busy travel/anniversary/Mothers Day/birthday/school/church spring schedule, that some time went by since we saw them, and the one time he and I spoke recently was only briefly and regarding the hedges.  Second, that I cannot find any pictures of them.  I think our relationship is just so natural and easy, and it feels like family, so I don’t think to take a picture, but we will never forget him, and as long as we are here and Ann is here, we will look after her and enjoy our time with her, and they will forever remain our beautiful Irish neighbors.

(If you are the praying type, please pray for a miracle, of course, but if not that, then healing, comfort, and peace for Grahame and Ann.  Please pray that Grahame would live long enough for family to return from a family wedding to see him, and  preferably that he would still be alive when we come back here after out trip to the States (leaving tomorrow, Sunday) so I can sing in his funeral.  Thank you!)

UPDATE:  I made a copy of this and gave it to Ann to share with Grahame.  We have since learned that our faithful friend, Grahame, passed away.  We are in Texas now and so sad thinking of him not being there when we return and because we know we can not be there right now to support Ann.  But we pray for the grace to be a source of consolation and comfort to her upon our return.